The ability to communicate has become one of the most needed skills in today’s world. The success of every interaction we have depends on our ability to either have meaningful conversations or communicate our ideas and values effectively. This applies to everything from private communication to public speaking.

Communication can be easy when it is just with a few people or people who are used to it. Public speaking, on the other hand, is terrifying for most people. This is when we need to stand in front of a group of people and present our views, make a speech, or teach. Agoura Christian Counseling can help individuals build confidence in their communication skills.

Public speaking is a scary prospect for most of us because it requires giving ourselves to an audience to be judged in real-time. The fear of rejection and failing is usually at the forefront of why most people shy away from public speaking altogether. This is understandable because not all of us are born with the ability to speak to a crowd.

It can be tough for a variety of reasons. Although it may be nerve-wracking, the ability to speak publicly and communicate effectively is becoming one of the most sought-after skills in the job market, across industries and disciplines.

Tips for effective public speaking

Effective planning

Most of the nervousness we feel before speaking publicly is a result of not planning. As much as you can make sure you know all that needs to be in place for you to give your best. This might mean visiting the venue beforehand to properly plan how you will conduct yourself in that environment. Planning will also include making sure that all your technical needs are taken care of so that you will not be rattled by any technical issues on the day.

Know your material

As much as possible, try to avoid reading but work from an outline. This will mean that you will have to put a lot of effort into knowing and understanding the contents of what you are to present.

This requires you to study and go over your presentation over and over again, so you are aware of the flow of content. Master the introduction, the body, and the conclusion well so you do not lose track. Knowing your material also helps in reducing the feeling of nervousness that comes with public speaking.

Know your audience

Taking time to know the audience before you are to present to them will ensure that you have a successful presentation. The work you are putting out is for them so you must get to know how to effectively communicate with them.

Different audiences have unique needs and respond to communication styles differently, so this information is vital. Knowing one’s audience beforehand also helps with connecting with them on a human level. Connection is vital in any presentation or public speaking engagement.

Dress to impress

Before you say anything, when you stand in front of people, the first thing they will notice is how you are dressed. That’s their first impression of you. Different dress codes will be required for different audiences, but make sure that however you dress, it shows that you made an effort.

We also feel more confident when we know we look nice. There is no standard way of dressing, your environment and audience will determine that, but make sure it is presentable.

Grab their attention

From the moment you walk on stage, or the online presentation is focused on you, it is time to grab your audience’s attention. This is not only for the opening, but also for engaging their attention throughout. Whenever appropriate, use humor, tell a story, or include interesting statistics to keep their attention and more able to follow your presentation or speech.

Watch for feedback

The audience will always give feedback. Watch out for their questions, body postures, and non-verbal and verbal communication to see if you need to adjust how you are presenting in real-time. This means that you need to be flexible enough to switch things up or change your presentation style when you deem it necessary.

Be confident, relax

This is easier said than done, but, looking confident goes a long way in grabbing the attention of those you are speaking to. If you are feeling nervous, take breaks, ask questions, and involve the audience until you regain your composure. Relax, speak normally, and always breathe to relax.

We are here to help

Being asked to present in public can be daunting for most people. If you have read the above and need further assistance, reach out for help. Our online directory Agoura Christian Counseling, includes a team of Counselors and Therapists who will help identify the source of your fears and help you with healthy coping skills.

What about misplaced emotions that cause us to eat when we aren’t hungry or to eat uncontrollably for hours at a time? Emotional eating is the urge to eat to make yourself feel better temporarily. Unfortunately, it can become a habit that is hard to break as compulsive behavior takes hold. Agoura Christian Counseling can help you explore the underlying emotional triggers and develop healthier coping strategies.

Learn how to overcome emotional eating and feel more in control today.

Why we emotionally eat

We know that emotional eating can lead to weight gain and obesity, high blood pressure, rapid heart rate, chronic inflammation, and increased chances of disease. Yet, the urge is so great to eat when we feel angry, sad, disappointed, or depressed. Sometimes we feel that same urge when things are going well. We want to celebrate with extra food and drinks.

Why do we emotionally eat when we are aware of the long-term effects? We do it because our brains reward us for our behavior. For example, when we are sad after a breakup, we might indulge in pizza followed by ice cream and truffles. This rise in simple carbohydrates and sugars floods our bloodstream, and the brain releases dopamine, making us temporarily happy.

But this feeling is fleeting, and the more you engage in the cycle, the stronger the urge will become and the more food it will take to trigger the dopamine release. We tend to feel guilty, ashamed, and worthless when it wears off.

We must break the cycle of emotional eating and fight through the urges to act in a manner that will derail our goals or lower our self-esteem and confidence.

Tips for overcoming emotional eating

You can overcome emotional eating, but it will take changing your thoughts and working your resistance. Resisting urges is challenging, but the more you say no and busy yourself with other things as the urge passes, the stronger you will be for the next temptation.

For example, you have made stopping at a fast food place drive-thru part of your morning routine. You also like to grab a couple of candy bars when you stop for gas in the evenings after work.

You now realize that you make these stops not because you are hungry but because you want a surge of dopamine before you get to work and another wave as you commute home. These are powerful habits and urges.

You may want to work slowly on changing your habits to overcome them. Perhaps cut out the evening candy bar stops, but continue the fast food breakfasts for a week. Once you have successfully resisted the call for the candy bar, work on only stopping at the fast food drive-thru two mornings next week.

Assess the outcomes as you continually resist. You might be surprised that it gets easier to resist in time. Try each one of these tips for emotional eating. Then, if you want more suggestions or support, contact a counselor today.

Journal emotions.

As you realized in the above example, we seek relief from food when stressed. Journaling your food intake is a great way to discover behavioral patterns and consistent emotions. Not only will you monitor your meals and snacks, but you will also record how you felt before eating and after.

Did you eat because you were worried about falling behind on projects at work or not being able to make ends meet this month? Did you eat after the kids went to bed to relax after a stressful day?

A journal shows us the actions that we repeat and the thoughts that hinder us. Once you are aware of sabotaging thoughts, you can reframe them into more helpful thoughts to resist the temptation to eat. Record these new intentions in your journal and post them where you can see them daily.

Learn how to communicate.

We often engage in emotional eating because we cannot express our emotions to others. Did your husband do something irritating, but you stuffed it deep inside to keep the peace? Did your boss berate you in front of the office? Do you feel like your teenagers are out of control?

Even if we stay quiet to maintain peace in our homes and at work, our emotions will simmer under the surface. The feelings emerge as other behaviors, such as emotional eating, overeating, and binges.

If you struggle with communication and confrontation, take an online course in assertiveness or speak to a counselor. You can learn conflict resolution skills to communicate your displeasure without offending others. This new assertiveness will boost confidence and lower your risk of turning to food for comfort.

Practice portion control.

As you work on resisting the urge to emotionally eat, practice portion control and keeping trigger foods out of your pantry, freezer, refrigerator, briefcase, car, and purse. Although it may seem restrictive to measure or weigh foods or use portion-sized containers, these tools ensure that you eat a good number of nutritious foods.

Planning your meals and snacks also gives you a planned array of foods to choose from when upset. You are more likely to skip eating for other reasons besides hunger if you only have hardboiled eggs left in your lunch cooler.

Drink more water.

Dehydration and malnutrition can help to trigger emotional eating. As you turn to your feelings for comfort, it will be harder to resist the temptation if you have a nutritional deficiency or insufficient hydration. Your body will crave the foods that it needs for nutrients. If you are dehydrated, you may crave salt. Eating salty foods forces you to drink more or seek food with a higher water content.

A good baseline for water consumption is eight cups (64 ounces) daily. Ask your physician for the appropriate amount for your body. Some doctors recommend drinking half your body weight in ounces. For example, if you weigh 180 pounds, you would drink 90 ounces of water daily. Your activity level, medications, and the climate where you live should be considerations when deciding how much water you need to curb cravings and binges.

Make walking an intentional activity.

Physical activity can burn away some frustrations as well as calories. You do not have to commit to an hour-long workout to reap the benefits. A simple walk around the neighborhood or the office building could give you the time you need to resist a craving to eat. Walking is a form of exercise that stimulates digestion and regulates blood sugar which can impact hunger signals.

For example, you are at work and receive some bad news. You decide to take a break and walk down to the vending machine. Everything looks so good, and you need something right now to take your mind off the stressful news. Instead, you pause to assess the situation. You are upset about what you learned.

You are not hungry, and if you eat that candy bar or bag of chips, you will only feel worse later, which might trigger a binge. You choose to walk a few laps around the building until the end of the break. When you return to your desk, your adrenaline is pumping, and you feel better after that brisk walk.

Although walking in nature and the fresh air is best, stream a walk-at-home video if you cannot walk outside due to weather or location. You can find a wide variety of videos online for free that guide you to walk from a short ten minutes to an hour-long five miles. Make it your goal to walk daily to decrease your anxiety and depression and lower your blood pressure and resting heart rate.

Seeking help for emotional eating.

Do you need help with emotional eating? Do your emotions control your behavior? Sometimes you need a little extra support and strategies to beat emotional eating. Call or complete the contact form to schedule an appointment with a counselor.

You can get to the bottom of your behaviors and change your thoughts and emotions with therapy techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Reach out to us today at Agoura Christian Counseling in California.