Root Causes and Risks of Anger Issues

Anger is a common human emotion—but does that mean angry responses should be normalized? When we feel out of control due to our anger, or when someone close to us is angry, it can feel scary and not “normal” at all. Signs of anger issues in relationships can be a red flag, or they might be within the range of a normal response, especially when managed in a healthy and constructive way.

The sensation or emotion of anger is not necessarily what’s wrong – it’s often what you do with that anger. Do you use it to justify sin? Do you hurt other people (emotionally, physically, etc.) when you’re angry?

If you grew up in a home where one or both parents/guardians had “anger issues,” that childhood experience may have affected you in a myriad of ways, including a feeling of constantly “walking on eggshells,” wondering when the next outburst would happen, or never being able to fully relax, even in a seemingly neutral environment.

If you or someone close to you currently struggles with anger, you may be asking yourself, “Why do people get angry? What is the best way to handle anger? And how can counseling for anger issues make a difference?” This article will address all those questions.

Root Causes of Anger Issues

The root cause of anger issues can be hard to decipher until you make one key distinction: anger doesn’t come from outside; it comes from inside. While negative emotions are often triggered by outside events, they are ultimately an internal experience.

Jesus made this clear in the gospels when he said, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). In other words, what we say and do is an expression of our internal thoughts and mindset.

But this doesn’t mean there is no such thing as righteous anger! If you are being abused and mistreated, it’s normal to feel a sense of justified anger. If you see someone else being abused and mistreated, it’s proper to feel angry.

What’s the key in understanding sinful anger vs. righteous anger? It’s owning your anger and seeking to understand and manage it. Your anger can draw your attention to injustice that needs to be remedied, or grief that you haven’t processed. More than anything else, anger is a signal of something that needs your attention.

When you feel a sense of anger, ask yourself why. What is the trigger? How can you give yourself space to respond constructively?

Here are some root causes and triggers of anger:

• The sensation of anger is a “response to a perceived threat.” (Mayo Clinic)
• It can be a response to negative emotions or memories.
• It’s often triggered by a feeling of vulnerability, shame, or betrayal.
• Certain physical conditions can increase irritability and trigger anger.
• Mental health or behavioral issues such as depression, OCD, and substance use disorder increase the risk of anger problems.

If your anger is linked to a physical or mental health condition, that doesn’t mean you’re helpless to manage it, but it does mean you might need outside help to take responsibility for how you manage it. How do you know if your level of anger is typical, or if it’s something for which you need to seek help? How do you know whether counseling for anger would benefit someone close to you?

Is My (or Their) Anger a Serious Problem?

Let’s talk about some of the signs that anger is causing ongoing problems and needs to be addressed:

You feel that you can’t manage it effectively. You might make resolutions or set goals to avoid another angry outburst, but you feel like you can’t control your reactions.

It hurts those around you. You can see the pain and hurt that your anger causes others, but you feel powerless to stop it.

It negatively affects your relationships. You’re unable to maintain a sense of closeness and trust with others because of your anger problem.

Outbursts happen frequently. You find yourself either internalizing or lashing out your anger almost every day.

The level of reaction is disproportionate to the trigger. You become extremely angry over small, minor triggers.

A mental health professional can help you assess your anger level, the type of anger you have, your common triggers, and help you find a path towards managing your anger, healing from pain and grief, and working towards healthier relationships.

Anger vs. Abuse

What is the difference between someone who has anger problems and someone who is abusive?

Anger problems can include and lead to abusive behavior, including verbal abuse, physical intimidation (throwing things, slamming doors, etc.), and even violent outbursts, but it’s important to recognize that abuse is not simply an “anger issue,” but a deep sense of entitlement to act that way.

The Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence in New York explains it this way:

“Control, not anger, is the reason for domestic abuse. Abusers feel entitled to dominate their partners… Abusive expressions of anger are not out of control – they are intended to control the partner.”

This distinction does not mean that abusers do not have anger problems – simply that the problem of abusiveness cannot be blamed on “anger issues.” If you are confused about whether you’re experiencing anger, abuse, or both in your relationship, a counselor can help you identify problem behaviors and work through your concerns.

If you feel unsafe, please visit thehotline.org or call 800.799.SAFE.

The Health Risks of Anger

We often hear about the health risks of chronic anger, and this is indeed a real concern. Anger can raise your blood pressure and heart rate and cause muscle tension. Studies have found links between anger and heart disease, diabetes, migraines, strokes, and even early death. These types of health risks are linked to elevated levels of anger over an extended period, which means there is still hope!

You can learn how to constructively manage and respond to anger so that you control it rather than its controlling you. If you’re worried about what anger is doing to your body, understand that it’s triggering your fight-or-flight response, and it can become a learned or habitual physical response.

As you ruminate on your frustration and “stir the pot” in your mind, your body becomes flooded with adrenaline and testosterone, preparing you for a fight, even if you don’t physically fight someone. Over time, anger can become a learned or habitual response to any trigger, and this habitual response carries the greatest risk of developing chronic health problems.

The Bible and Managing Anger

If you grew up in church or have been a regular attendee or member for a long time, you may associate anger with sin and being in the wrong.

The words used for anger in the Bible include several different ones in Hebrew (Old Testament) and two in Greek (New Testament). The Bible warns us that in our anger we should not sin (Ephesians 4:26), which conveys the idea that it is possible to respond to the emotion of anger without displeasing God or harming others.

An integrated approach to anger management in Christian counseling means:

• Looking at what God has to say in Scripture about anger and how we treat others.
• Integrating therapeutic techniques for anger management with a biblical approach to “putting off” sin. (Ephesians 4:22-24)

The Mayo Clinic describes three common responses to anger: expression, suppression, and calming down.

Expression can be positive (calmly talking about why something bothered you) or negative (road rage, for example). “Ideally, you’ll choose constructive expression – stating your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.” Cognitive reframing may be another therapeutic approach, where your counselor can help you learn to think about your triggers in a different way that doesn’t provoke such angry emotions.

A passive approach to triggers usually leads to suppression. Suppression may seem healthier in the short run because it hides the anger, but suppressed anger nearly always comes out one way or another eventually.

Aggressive anger hurts others and ourselves via outbursts, hurtful words, intimidating behavior, or other forms of aggression.

But, learning to be assertive about our needs and thoughts while always respecting others’ needs and boundaries can help with anger management and lead to reduced frustration. Practical anger management techniques may also include exercising, getting more sleep, and implementing self-care practices to decrease triggers.

In Christian counseling, you might also discuss trusting the Holy Spirit to guide you and produce the fruits of peace, patience, and self-control. God is powerful in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-11) and can help us overcome the sin of ungodly anger. The more you practice healthy responses to anger, the more habitual those responses will become, and the more fruit you can bear as you rely on God to help you.

Christian counseling for anger issues can help you or your loved one identify your triggers, cope with your angry responses, and learn how to manage them, and heal past wounds or grief that has triggered anger issues. If you feel unsafe due to another person’s anger issues, counseling can help you develop a safety plan, identify ways to set boundaries, and create a safe environment for yourself. Contact our office today to set up your initial risk-free appointment.