Building Genuine Self-Acceptance

It can seem weird that we must be taught to love and accept ourselves. The truth of the matter is growing up, most of us have been swayed away from self-acceptance, taking care of ourselves, valuing ourselves, or being kind to ourselves because such actions have been defined as selfish, narcissistic, or grandiose.

More value has been placed on how sacrificial one is, how much one looks to the needs of others and less to their own needs that amid it all we have lost the ability to love, accept, and be compassionate toward ourselves.

While looking to the needs of others is important, today we will look at how important it is for us to shine the light on ourselves and how important self-acceptance is. Self-acceptance can be defined as the ability for one to look at themselves and accept all aspects of their being, warts and all.

It is having a realistic evaluation of oneself and being content with that evaluation without judgment, shame, or criticism. It is embracing both the good and the bad of who one is.

It is important to note that self-acceptance is not about people not acknowledging and changing their weaknesses, bad attributes, or behavior. On the contrary, self-acceptance is the bedrock of self-development and self-improvement. When someone accepts their flaws and weaknesses it means that they are not living in denial, and they can seek help for the areas they know need to be rectified.

Key components of self-acceptance

For someone to fully embrace who they are irrespective of their flaws and despite their achievements, certain components need to be present in how they live their lives. Below are a few suggestions:

Self-awareness.

Being self-aware means that you have all the details of who you are. You know your strengths, weaknesses, attributes, triggers, and emotions. You are honest with yourself.

Authenticity.

Showing up and living life as your most genuine self is the height of self-acceptance. Authentic living means you are not afraid or ashamed of who you are, but you dare to be seen for who you truly are. It is embracing your uniqueness and individuality.

Resilience.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks and failure. In life we will all fall short of something; the aim is not to stay there but to use those setbacks as opportunities for reflection and growth.

Self-Compassion.

Truth be told, we are most times our own greatest critics. We hold ourselves to standards that we do not even hold for other people. This needs to stop if we are to fully live a life of self-acceptance. Practicing self-compassion means we learn to forgive ourselves when we make mistakes. We show ourselves the same kindness we freely give to others.

Celebration of achievements.

For fear of being perceived as being full of pride, people have underplayed their achievements or at times haven’t even acknowledged them at all. For us to live in self-acceptance, we also must acknowledge those things we are good at without shame. Our abilities and good qualities should never be something we have to hide but fully embraced and celebrated.

Unconditional love.

The world teaches us at times that for us to deserve love and attention, we first must be perfect and without flaws. Unconditional lovecombats that by loving yourself, right here right now as you are. This is especially important for people struggling with addiction or a habit they want to break. You can love and appreciate yourself even as you are on the road to recovery, not only when you recover.

Staying in your lane.

Self-acceptance means you are not in competition with anyone. You understand what your journey is and your unique situation. You are not living a life of chasing records and the achievements of others. You let go of comparisons.

Benefits of self–acceptance

As a tool for a more peaceful and meaningful life, self-acceptance is a powerful tool. There are many reasons why it can be beneficial to our daily life, below are a few reasons why it is vital:

• Enhanced mental and physical health.
• Healthy relationships.
• Increased confidence and self-esteem.
• A positive outlook on life.
• Improved emotional intelligence and empathy.
• An antidote to toxic shame.
• Reduced stress.
• Foundation for self-development and self-improvement.
• Greater financial freedom.

Finding support

The journey of self-acceptance can be a daunting one, especially if growing up we have never been taught or given the tools. At Agoura Christian Counseling in California, we are here to offer the support you might need. If you feel you would like more information and help, please get in touch with our office.