Codependency Treatment: Finding the Help You Need

Codependency is an unhealthy relationship dynamic in which a person is emotionally dependent on another person to validate his or her identity and bolster his or her self-esteem and sense of worth. It is not just a couple thing between spouses or romantic partners but can play out in any type of relationship such as between parent and child, friends, siblings, co-workers, or boss and employee. If you’re looking for codependency treatment, this article is for you.

In codependency, others become our foreground, God becomes the background, and self is lost altogether. That is not God’s design. – Focus On The Family

Codependent people need to feel needed and will neglect their own well-being in favor of taking care of the other person’s needs. They feel responsible for the other person’s feelings and actions and will do anything to make them happy, including enabling their bad behavior by making excuses for them or taking over their responsibilities.

Often, they will stay in a damaging, abusive relationship because they fear being abandoned, and the thought of being without the other person may feel scarier than putting up with the harmful behaviors. Codependency is a learned behavior that is rooted in dysfunctional family dynamics during childhood. The good news is that it can be unlearned.

Codependency treatment.

Studies indicate that the best codependency treatment is a form of psychotherapy such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that teaches the codependent person how to identify dysfunctional thoughts and behavior patterns and restructure them.

Typically, the counseling sessions include:

• Identifying unhealthy behavior patterns.
• Uncovering the root causes of current dysfunctional behaviors by exploring early childhood experiences.
• Helping you understand the connection between early childhood issues and current behavior.
• Getting in touch with buried feelings and reconstructing family dynamics.
• Getting to know yourself and treat yourself kindly.
• Learning self-compassion and forgiving yourself for your mistakes.
• Learning to be honest about the cost of codependency.
• Prioritizing self-care.
• Learning how to rebalance yourself and engage in more independent behavior.
• Building self-esteem.
• Challenging feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt. Learning how to be honest with yourself and the other person.
• Learning how to communicate clearly to avoid misunderstandings.
• Practicing assertiveness and learning how to say no.
• Understanding and accepting that you can’t please everyone.
• Learning the difference between unhealthy codependent behavior and healthy interdependent behavior.
• Understanding the difference between codependency and love.
• Understanding the difference between healthy support and enabling.
• Learning how to recognize dysfunctional behaviors in others and stop enabling them.
• Learning how to set boundaries.
• Learning how to support others without enabling their bad behavior.

Peer support groups such as Codependents Anonymous and Celebrate Recovery can provide an added benefit to professional codependency treatment by providing a safe space in which you can meet with others facing the same struggles you are, share your strengths, hopes, and experiences, and encourage one another as you work your way along the road to recovery together.

Christian counseling for codependent relationships

No matter how much you think you can do it, only God can motivate another person to change (Philippians 2:12-13). It is not your job, nor do you have the ability to do so. The only person you can change is yourself.

Christian counseling adds an extra dimension to codependency treatment by combining traditional clinical intervention with prayer and biblical principles and reassurances. If you are struggling with codependency and would like to set up an appointment with one of the faith-based counselors in our online directory, please give us a call today at Agoura Christian Counseling in California. We would be honored to walk alongside you through the healing process.