What does forgiveness mean? Forgiveness is not an easy thing, no matter how strong your faith may be. But it is a major component of the healing process, and it can give you a new wife of freedom from the past. A Christian counselor can help you learn what forgiveness means in your own situations so you can move forward in greater faith.

What Does Forgiveness Mean? A Definition

What forgiveness means might look different from what you think. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what happened to you, and it doesn’t mean reconciling with the person who can hurt you. But real forgiveness is admitting that you experienced hurt from something someone did to you, grieving your losses, then surrendering them to God.

God is big enough and wise enough to handle the problem that requires your forgiveness. Whether that situation is large or small, God is ready to help you let it go. He’s the only one who can truly see the problem from every side. he is also the only one who can be trusted to perfectly dole out justice to your offender.

God perfectly understands your feelings and motives. He also understands the feelings and motives of the person who hurt you. God uses perfectly balanced scales of justice, and if you believe in him, his promise to work all things together for good will most certainly hold true.

When you choose to forgive, you won’t give in to your natural urge to seek revenge. Instead, you place your trust in God to handle the situation better than you could ever handle it on your own. In Romans 12: 19, God says that only he can repay people for the wrong with they have done, and we are warned against seeking revenge.

Every one of us will stand before God to give an account someday. On that day, you want to be able to say that you released your offender in forgiveness, whether they ever admitted their fault to you or not.

When you choose to forgive your offender, you are no longer linked to them through the offense. You release them to God by cutting the cord. This also releases you from the offense and sets you free. The offense will always be a part of your past, but it doesn’t have to define you.

From this point forward, God can free you from the pain of the past as you trust him with your future. He will also show you whether reconciliation with your offender is possible or not. You can also gain perspective on this by meeting with a Christian counselor.

Situations that Need Forgiveness

Many situations need forgiveness. You might think that the situation you face is unforgivable, but we have likely counseled someone with a similar problem in our practice. Here are some of the client experiences that have benefited from forgiveness.

  • A wife forgave her husband for his acts of infidelity, and their marriage was healed.
  • A man forgave his ex-wife for their difficult divorce so he could have a fresh start.
  • A daughter forgave her emotionally abusive father to experience healing.
  • A mother forgave her son’s abuser so she could experience God’s peace.
  • A father forgave his son for his addiction, so he could live without oppressive guilt and worry.
  • A woman forgave her manipulative parents so she could have a healthier future with others.
  • A man forgave his overbearing boss so he could find more rewarding work elsewhere.
  • The woman forgave her church for spiritual abuse so she could connect with a healthy church.
  • A man forgave a doctor’s malpractice so he could live free from bitterness.

Though your situation may be different from these examples, you can still benefit from forgiveness. It might seem impossible to you now, but forgiveness is possible when you humbly submit to God’s will.

All the people above felt frustrated and stuck in their situations, yet with their counselor’s help, they found the freedom to forgive. You can find the same kind of hope and healing by meeting with a Christian counselor.

God’s Forgiveness

Because God forgave us, we have the power to forgive the people who have hurt us.

In Matthew 18:21-25, Jesus tells a story that demonstrates the need to forgive others the same way God forgave us. Each of us has run up huge debts against God, but he has torn up our debts and decided to forgive them. We can also cancel others’ debts against us with God’s help, instead of forcing them to repay us for their much smaller debts.

in the Lord’s prayer, Jesus teaches us how to forgive. We are to forgive others’ debts because God forgives us our debts (Matthew 6:12). He also warns us in Matthew 6:15, telling us that if we refuse to forgive others, God will not forgive us. Forgiveness is important to God, and it needs to be a major priority for us.

The day Jesus died, he forgave the soldiers who were nailing him to the cross (Luke 23:34). Jesus did this to model forgiveness for us, though it is surely one of the toughest situations in history since Jesus did no wrong. He will help you forgive even the hardest situations in your own story.

When we choose to forgive, we can be set free from our past and live the abundant life God wants for us. As you follow Jesus’ example, God will give you the strength to forgive others. Your Christian counselor will also help you apply lessons from the Bible as you move forward in your forgiveness journey.

The Steps to Forgiving Others

Forgiveness isn’t a one-time act. It’s often the choice to forgive over and over, as Jesus described in Matthew 18:22. Every time a memory surfaces or a trigger is enacted, you must forgive someone again. This can take many weeks, months, or even years, but each time you decide to forgive, you can let go of the pain and bitterness and grow more like Christ. In your journey of spiritual growth, forgiveness might be the most fruitful path you ever take.

Satan will tempt you to revisit the memory of the hurt, then hold onto a grudge against the person who hurt you. But meditating on scriptures about forgiveness can help you make a healthy choice. When you are triggered by unforgiveness, you can remember your verse to choose forgiveness instead.

Pull out the verses mentioned in this post and write them down or store them on your smartphone. Please versus will serve as guidelines when you are tempted to become hard and bitter. They will help you fight back against Satan and choose freedom in the Lord instead.

Some people have found healing in writing a forgiveness list. A Christian counselor can help you write a list of all the offenses committed against you. This list is not to be shared with your offender or anyone else other than your counselor.

It is a tool to help you move toward freedom with God’s help. After discussing the list with your counselor, you might experience greater freedom by shredding or burning it. This act can symbolize your commitment to forgiving your offender just as God has forgiven you.

Finding Help from Christian Counseling

Forgiveness is an enormous undertaking. Many people are stuck in unforgiveness for years or even decades. but you can have a different story if you choose the hard work of forgiveness.

It’s wise to enlist a Christian counselor’s help as you walk on your forgiveness journey. Your counselor will help you sort through your past, grieve what was lost, and choose to heal and forgive. Many people have healed faster by receiving wisdom and guidance from a Christian counselor when they chose to forgive.

To begin your journey of healing and forgiveness, contact us today. A caring Christian counselor is waiting to support you while you choose to forgive.

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“Red Flowers”, courtesy of Diana Serbichenko, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Walking Alone”, Courtesy of Kateryna Hliznitsova, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “A Shoulder to Lean On”, Courtesy of Taha, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Fashion Photo”, Courtesy of Moreno Matkovic, Unsplash.com, CC0 License