What is Forgiveness? A Biblical Approach

Forgiveness is one of the key concepts and major themes in the Bible. There are two kinds of forgiveness: vertical (from God to humans) and horizontal (between humans). Both kinds of forgiveness are mentioned many times in Scripture.

Yet, the concept of forgiveness is also misunderstood, misused, and even abused. Why? Because it’s sometimes taken to mean things it doesn’t mean, or as a license to sin, or as a demand from others instead of something we choose to extend to them.

These common misunderstandings explain why it’s so important to look at the concept of forgiveness in the context of the whole span of Scripture. Forgiveness is not something we are owed, and it’s not something we owe anyone else. It’s the act of canceling a debt.

Think about that for a second. If you owe a lender money, and one day you get a letter in the mail saying they’ve canceled your debt and you don’t owe them anything, that’s forgiveness. You might wonder if there are strings attached because forgiveness is so rare – after all, it’s not required.

Also, consider that the lender probably didn’t forgive you based on emotions. They didn’t have to feel anything towards you to forgive you. They simply had to have a motive for forgiveness. It might have been a self-involved motive, but forgiveness doesn’t have to involve emotion. With that in mind, let’s talk about vertical, or divine, forgiveness.

God’s Plan

The connection between debt and forgiveness is clear: forgiveness is canceling a debt, something that is legitimately owed. Why does God forgive us? What do we owe him?

Debt is a metaphor for sin (Matthew 6:12). The literal translation of the Greek word used for forgive in the Lord’s Prayer (“Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”) is to send away or dismiss.” God dismisses the debt we owe him, sending it away forever.

Why does sin need to be forgiven? The Bible makes it clear that sin is an offense against God (Colossians 3:6, Isaiah 59:2). It is disobeying his holy law (1 John 3:4, Jeremiah 9:13, Psalm 119:150). Through Christ’s death on the cross as payment for our sins, God offers us forgiveness (1 John 1:7-9, Hebrews 2:17).

To him, all the prophets bear witness that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name. – Acts 10:43

Not only does God forgive our sin, but He also gives us a relationship with him. This is the doctrine of reconciliation – we’re forgiven, and we’re adopted into God’s family.

For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! – Romans 5:10

We are forgiven for a purpose: to live in close relationship with God and have a new life in him.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. – 2 Corinthians 5:17

This is the essence of vertical forgiveness:

• Our sin is a debt we owe before God.
• Jesus’ death paid that debt for us, and God forgives us for our sin.
• Along with forgiveness, God reconciles us to him, so that we can live in a relationship with him.
• Through forgiveness and reconciliation, we have a new life in Christ.

Forgiveness Between People

You can think of forgiveness between people as horizontal forgiveness. We are all debtors before God, and we also sin against each other. Every sin is primarily an offense against God (Psalm 51:4), but we also hurt other people by our actions, words, and attitudes.

Forgiving others for their sins against us is of paramount importance in Scripture. The parable of the two debtors describes a scene in which a man is forgiven a huge debt against him, yet he refuses to show the slightest mercy to someone who owes him a debt (Luke 18:9-14). Jesus says God will not forgive us unless we forgive each other from the heart.

These are strong, bold words, and they can be confusing and distressing if we don’t have a clear understanding of what God requires of us through forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness is not a feeling, and it is different from reconciliation. Forgiveness is canceling a debt someone owes you.

Forgiveness does not require reparations, but reconciliation might. Forgiveness is also different from trust. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you must trust them.

Imagine someone breaking into your house and then asking for you to forgive them later. They come back the next day and try to open your door, but it’s locked. Then they stand on your porch and complain that you haven’t really forgiven them because you don’t trust them enough to leave your door unlocked.

It’s not a perfect analogy, but we instinctively know this is absurd. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean allowing them to continue to hurt you or sin against you. If someone is claiming your lack of trust means you have a lack of forgiveness, consider whether they may be trying to manipulate you. Do they have your best interest at heart?

Trust is part of reconciliation. Reconciliation is the repairing of a relationship. This means restitution may be needed. If a married couple tries to heal their marriage after one spouse committed adultery, the unfaithful spouse needs to build trust and make up for what they did. This does not mean they are unforgiven; it means that action is needed to fix the damaged relationship.

What is Forgiveness?

Let’s review what forgiveness is not and what it is:

What forgiveness is not:

• It is not forgetting.
• It is not a one-time event; it’s a heart attitude and a lifestyle. It’s often a process.
• It’s not the absence of righteous anger.
• It is not the lack of boundaries.
• It is not enabling someone to continue in sin/a destructive pattern.
• It does not have to involve a conversation, or even include the other person at all.
• It does not mean you allow the person access to you.
• It’s not a feeling.

What forgiveness is:

• Theological definition: “Forgiveness in the Bible is a ‘release’ or a ‘dismissal’ of something. The forgiveness we have in Christ involves the release of sinners from God’s just penalty and the complete dismissal of all charges against us (see Romans 8:1).” (Got Questions)
• Psychological definition: “Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.” (Greater Good Magazine)
• Biblical definition: “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.’ And you forgave the guilt of my sin.” (Psalm 32:5)
• It’s letting go of what you’re rightfully owed to have peace towards that person in your heart.
• If reconciliation follows, restitution may be required, but whether or not reconciliation happens, you can still have peace in your heart.
• It’s a decision.

Benefits of Forgiving Others

Whether or not you experience a restored relationship or a change in the person you’ve forgiven, the practice of forgiving others can still help you. Not only is it a requirement for a humble heart posture before God, but it is also good for you in many ways:

Psychological benefits. Forgiveness is linked to reduced anxiety, depression, and psychiatric disorders. It relieves stress, reduces toxic anger, and improves well-being.

Other evidence-based benefits. Research has also linked forgiveness to better physical health and reduced cortisol levels.

Promises from God’s Word. The Bible teaches us that we must forgive others if we expect forgiveness from God. This means that as we lay down the burden of anger and resentment toward others, we can experience the freedom of new life in Christ and a relationship with him.

Christian Counseling to Help You Forgive

As mentioned above, forgiveness is not necessarily a one-time event. More often, it is a process, and if there is toxicity, abuse, or trauma involved, it can take a long time. Therapy for these past hurts can help you resolve the physical and emotional aftereffects and find peace. It can help you process the pain you’ve experienced and find healing so that you can live in freedom and grace.

If you’re interested in individual Christian counseling, please contact our office today to schedule your risk-free initial session.